HALLO.

Today I woke up in Cheltenham. Did I mention we took a train to Cheltenham?

Well, we did.

 

This is the view out of the back window of our B+B. It's a very nice B+B. I'm trying not to think about how much it must cost, but Miriam and David have pretty much not let me pay for anything.

By pretty much, I mean they have not let me pay for anything.

After breakfast (which I had to drag my poor corpse out of bed for), we hopped in the rental car and went whizzing across the disgustingly picturesque English countryside toward Sudely Castle. Because I insisted on seeing a castle.

It wasn't REALLY a castle so much as a stately royal country home. A really big one. But it wasn't too 'castley'. A lot of it got destroyed in the civil war, if my memory serves. Before that it was the last home of Katherine Parr (the final and surviving wife of Henry VIII who went on to marry Thomas Seymour, I believe).

It was rediscovered by some ladies who were hiking through the hills and discovered a half-buried casket whose inscription on the side said it was Katherine Parr, sixth wife of Henry VIII.

So what do you do when you discover a slightlly unburied casket?

WHY YOU OPEN IT OF COURSE!

Inside was her corpse. Rather anticlimactic.

So they closed it up again and told some folks, who came and fixed up the place, or what bits could be.

The ruined wall above apparently was part of the banquet hall.

This fine fellow on the right, I believe, was a former lord of the castle. I would guess in the 70's.

He had this pet badger that he carried around everywhere with him.

It got into lots of trouble, digging up peoples gardens, and he had to go around behind it paying reparations for the damages his dear badger caused.

They had a taxidermied badger by this picture with a note saying that it was just some random badger, and not THE badger.

So yes.

Sudeley Castle was pretty neat. The house bit was pretty small, but there was an adorable little chapel on the grounds as well.

The gardens were very pretty.

SEE?

Very pretty indeed.

David trying to decide whether Katherine Parr was ACTUALLY close to six feet tall (as was alleged) and Miriam giving me the hairy eyeball for sneaky pictures.

I'm not really sure what's up with this fellow. He was sitting in the church pews, all askew. Most of the dressed dummies kind of made sense (there was a Katherine Parr in her private chambers, a Thomas Seymour lurking around in one of the drawing rooms), but I don't know about this fellow.

I just thought he was funny.

 

This is some sort of very fat pheasant.

Not a peasant, as Miriam kindly pointed out.

We were NOT going to a peasantry. We were going to a pheasantry.

There were all sorts of pheasants that I didn't bother taking pictures of. I took a picture of this fellow because he looks exactly like a very obese falcon. Maybe hung over too, with the red eyes. 

Too many mice, this one. Can't fly no more.

We found a 'proper' castle on the grounds. A FOUR STORY PLAYGROUND!!!! :DDD

 

You may notice that the photo was shot at the top of the playground.

There was also a foxtail at the back, which we all took turns riding. We had to fight this very insistant little boy, who was CERTAIN that we were NOT allowed turns because we were ADULTS. He was quite scandelized when we all three insisted and told him that other kids wouldn't play with him if he was selfish and hit them with swords (he poked me in the boob with one).

The foxtail was fun, even though I was probably too big for it.

After Sudeley Castle we headed back into Cheltenham and took a walk about, trying to decide what to do for dinner. Eventually we decided quite at random to go to this little 16th century pub just outside of town, in the next village over.

We got there a bit early for our reservations (I know, reservations in a pub, but it was mostly a restaurant), so we took a walk across some farmer's fields.

We saw this thing:

You get kisses from me if you can tell me what it is. I really have no idea.

Also:

Capering lambs! (Miriam suggested they might have brain damage. They were charging around in a pack, and quite randomly, in the middle of the running, one or two would throw themselves in the air in a mad caper, then a few seconds later a couple other ones would do it. It was like a mental tic...)

Also:

A REALLY OLD GRAVEYARD! Some of the gravestones dated back to the mid-1600's, and there was one so new it only had a plastic tag as a marker and the flowers weren't wilted yet.

After that we went to The Craven Arms pub and ate delicious, delicious lamb.

(The capering made them more delicious. Tenderized and what-not.)

I did not take any pictures of the food. It was gone too quickly.

Best damned pub food I ever did have.

And then we came back to the B+B.

And now I'm asleep.

Good night!