WELL SHIT. I forgot to tell you two stories from yesterday.

FIRST.

The ruins of Hailes Abbey...yes. The vial of Christ's blood.

Well, along comes old Henry VIII. He wants a couple of things to happen:

He wants to dissolve major, faithful religious groups so he can get all Anglican up there.

He wants more money.

So what does he do?

He says: "HEY MONK-DUDES. Can I see that vial for just a minute?"

Imagine this with more walls, and more floor, and more irate monks.

So what are monks who are sworn to poverty and largely silence supposed to do when faced with their king? And a king who is all swollen with man-lust for Anne Boelyn, and hot-to-trot to set up his own tailored religion.

They hand over the vial.

It goes to 'judgement', what ever that means. In my imagination it was a bunch of dudes in long rediculous robes, in a room somewhere, drinking and laughing their asses off over how much money the king is giving them.

Anyway, the vial was opened and it was decided that 'Christ's blood' was none other than honey coloured with saffron and/or duck's blood that the monks regularly changed. It was not entirely clear which one it was decided it was. I'm leaning towards the honey (though I'd like to know how they decided that one..."Hey, so, do you mind if I give Christ's blood a little lick, then?").

Rather unceremoniously, the vial was thrown on a fire and that was that.

And Henry VIII went to the monks and said: "So...I guess you won't be needing all this money and all these treasures then, soooo....YOINK."


I'm not entirely sure when the abbey was abandoned and fell down. I suspect it was sometime thereafter. It didn't help that the Black Death had decimated their ranks already and they were running at a pretty low capacity.

"Fuckit. Let's just abandon this shit."

Yes. That was story number one.

Story number two happened on the tube back to Miriam and David's place. I happened to overhear the phrase:

"What do they expect me to do, sit at home and eat rice?"

This caught my attention because I often used the phrase: "Sit at home and eat rice." It is often how I describe the period of time between jobs.

So I started listening to the two guys who were standing next to me. Or kind of listening. I couldn't figure out what they were talking about, really.

Finally one of them said: "I wish I could find a job that kept me interested. I have such a short attention span."

This is another of my laments, so I poked my head between the two fellows (aided by some liquid courage from hanging around with Scott) and said: "Be a props maker."

And the three of us got to talking a little, and I asked what they did, and they told me, in unison: "Musical theatre actors."

HILARIOUS TO ME. A whole train full of people and I get to talking to the other theatre people.

We chatted a bit about Singing in the Rain and how awesome and terrible theatre work is and the usual theatre-y stuff.

It was nice to talk to theatre people about theatre things.

And that brings us to today's adventures!

I wanted to go shopping. I found a market on the map and started heading there.

I found this guy.

"Laaaaaaaaaaaadies."

 I wish it was sunny out when I took this picture. I bet this guy looks great in the sun. He had lots of mirrored bits.

I found the market, eventually. It was okay. I realized after I got there that I'd been there before, with Scott, the previous time I was in town. On the bright side, the market was in full swing, instead of when Scott and I were there when it was only half up.

I went nuts and bought TWO postcards. TWO.

Then I headed back down to the waterfront.

My impressively long and colourful history brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, it's actually a former moat that was filled in due to being a cesspool of filth and horror. So yeah. Milkshakes!

Oh hai! It's the Tower(s) of London!

I thought: I've been here twice now. Maybe, just MAYBE I should do the Tower of London thing.

So I did.

These dudes were marching around with their very not-comical machine guns.

"Make fun of my hat. I DARE you."

I also just noticed the guy in the middle has a sword. He's probably the meanest.

There were a lot of ravens around, as per tradition.

Obligatory Bird Picture.

There were animals made out of chicken wire everywhere. I particularely liked the monkeys. Baboons. Y'know. Whatever.

"YOU ATE MY POCKY! THAT WAS *MY* POCKY! WHAT AM I GOING TO EAT AT GAMING TONIGHT?!!"

I would show you pictures of the Crown Jewels, but alas, it was Not Allowed.

Instead you get:

THE WHITE TOWER!

Complete with easily removable staircase, in case of attack by guys without ladders.

Also, in the vicinity of the Tower of London, we have:

TOWER BRIDGE!

You can buy greasy bags of salty nuts on the bridge. True story.

Then I walked across that bridge and got a little lost.

I took this picture on the way:

I swear this isn't a doctored photo. I tried to catch it again, to center it better, but the moment was gone and the sun was behind the cloud.

I like that photo, though.

Anyway, tomorrow is a matinee of Matilda, then in the evening, the Duchess of Malfi, and then one sleeps until Canada again...

*sigh*

See you all soon, my fine and feathered friends.